Honey, I shrunk Legolas
by Silver Flame of the Phoenix
Summary: Just kind of a little story me and my friends wrote. Legolas gets shrunk! STORY IS COMPLETED!! **BUT** I now have 2 bonus chapters, check out the new one! Warning: OOC-ness!
1. Not much to do with LotR, but hey!

Honey, I shrunk Legolas  
  
Ch. 1 Not much to do with LotR, but hey.  
  
Disclaimer: It's not mine, okay?? OKAY??? *falls to the ground twitching and weeping*  
  
(A/N: This is my very first humour fanfic, and I don't know if it's really very funny, but I had fun writing it, so it's all good. Right? Right?? Anyone reading anymore? REVIEW please, but DON'T FLAME! READING FLAMES IS DEPRESSING!)  
  
I. Hate. Pool. It is unbelievable just how much I hate pool. I never learned to play pool because I hate it. I also hate it because I never learned to play it. Oh, did I mention that I hate pool? were pretty much Elise's thoughts. She was currently at a friend's birthday party where everyone was playing; what else? The beloved pool.  
  
Elise's best friend, Tiffany, plopped down beside her. "Oh, come on. It's not that bad!"  
  
"I. Hate. Pool."  
  
"Yes, I think you mentioned that."  
  
"Hey, I've never played pool in my life, and I suck at it, but I'm still playing," said Shannon, Elise's other best friend, coming up behind them. "It's sad. I mean, Legolas is gonna come to life before you play pool."  
  
Tiffany and Shannon looked at each other.  
  
Elise found herself facing a pool table, cue in hand, and Shannon and Tiffany each dragging her by an arm.  
  
Elise rolled her eyes. "Fine. One shot. That's it. Then I get to sit back down."  
  
"Whatever you say," said Shannon, smiling charmingly. You wish.  
  
Just as Elise aimed and was about to shove the infernal stick forward, the three best friends heard a "pop" from the next room that everyone else, including the host, completely ignored.  
  
Elise proceeded to make possibly the worst shot ever recorded in the history of humankind. Tiffany could definitely hear a mutter of "I hate pool" before the three were hurrying over to the room.  
  
At first, they could see nothing, until Shannon yelped in pain. Elise and Tiffany rushed over, and Tiffany managed to fish something out of Shannon's finger that looked like a splinter, but when examined closer. "an. ARROW?" muttered the pool hater.  
  
A/N: RRRREEEEVVVVIIIIEEEEWWWW 


	2. It's it's Legolas!

Ch.2 It's the elf himself! (Hey, I made a rhyme!) Disclaimer: It's not mine, ok? Leave me alone! *huddles in a corner, looking sulky*  
  
A/N: Thank you very much to the TWO people who reviewed, and I'm sorry about the length of the chapters. Yes, I hopefully will be writing a lot more! (thanx Scatterheart! Yah, I love that line too!) (Thanx TokyoGal89! I love Legolas too! ;) ) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVVIIIEEEWWWWW!!!!! I LIVE OFF OF YOUR REVIEWS!!!!  
  
"What the hell is that?" muttered Tiffany.  
  
"It's an arrow, duh. I just SAID that!" commented Elise.  
  
"Yeah, I knew that"  
  
"Suuuurrree you did."  
  
"Okay, shut up, shut up!" Shannon yelled.  
  
"Uh, excuse me?" they heard a tiny voice call. They all looked around for the source of the miniature voice.  
  
"Who the hell is that?" wondered Tiffany, staring around the empty room.  
  
"I don't know." Elise and Shannon answered at exactly the same time. They looked at each other and burst out laughing, completely forgetting about the voice.  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes. "HeLLOOOOOOOOO!!" he shrieked at these giants. "I'M RIGHT HERE!" Elise, Tiffany and Shannon looked at the dresser, where the tiny Legolas was standing.  
  
"Awesomeness," commented Elise.  
  
Shannon's eyes lit up and she started dancing around the room, nearly bouncing off the walls. "I CAN SEE." she turned to her friends and whispered, "the future."  
  
Tiffany smacked Shannon. "Shut up! This is no time to be boasting. LEGOLAS is right here in this room!"  
  
This fact seemed to dawn on the other two as well, and the three obsessed LotR fans squealed and fell to their knees in perfect form in front of Legolas.  
  
"Oh great blonde elf god," they intoned together, "we praise you for your intense hotness." (A/N: I'm a Legolas fan. No, really?) Legolas stared at them.  
  
"You've been practicing that?!" he cried.  
  
"Uh. no! Of course not!" they lied, grinning innocently.  
  
"All right." Legolas said. "May I ask two questions?"  
  
"Sure, go right ahead," Elise replied.  
  
"All right then. WHERE THE HELL AM I????!!!!"  
  
"Earth!" replied Tiffany brightly. "No middle, front, back, top, or bottom!"  
  
"That's only one question!" complained Elise.  
  
"Okay. here's my second question. WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!!!!???"  
  
"Elise, Tiffany, and Shannon, your devoted fangirls, of course!"  
  
" 'Cept we're cont gonna chase you."  
  
"We don't have to! You're right here!" The three girls exchanged evil and rather frightening grins.  
  
Legolas looked worried.  
  
"Um. can I ask you a question?" asked Elise.  
  
Legolas nodded impatiently, looking a bit scared.  
  
"Why are you SO DARN SMALL?" she asked, perhaps just a LITTLE bit bluntly.  
  
A/N: *big cheesy smile* Are you feeling bored? Well, a great thing to do is review! Just hit that little button! It's quick, simple, and makes the world a better place! Well, not really, but it makes the author happy. And we all want a happy author, right? *smile gets a bit evil*. A/N: Don't mind me. 


	3. So small!

Ch.3 So small!  
  
Disclaimer: It's all mine! Mua ha ha ha ha ha! *Is hauled off to jail by the police*. *Rattles bars* I was kidding! I said it wasn't mine before! It was a joke! Hello? Hello? It's not mine, ok? Anyone there?  
  
A/N: Thankyou to all the people who have reviewed my story. I love you all! *blows kisses*. Thanx to: TokyoGal89: I read some of your poetry! It was great! And keep typing, it's great exercise for your fingers. If anyone ever says you spend too much time on your computer and don't get any exercise, tell 'em you exercise for HOURS every day! (j/k). By the way, Legolas is, like, 2918 years older than you, but that's a minor detail. Besides, he's mine! *snarls* Anyway. Amara Shelton: Hope that this is a steady enough flow for you! *_~ Yellow Drake X: Thanx! Updating! SkittleBoy: Thankyou for the review! Alisyn: Thanx, I really appreciate that, I sure will keep going! Priny: Only ok? I'll try harder! Enjoy!  
  
"Uh." Legolas tried to answer. "I have NO idea why I'm SO FREAKIN' SMALL!!!"  
  
O.O O.O O.O  
  
Tiffany, Elise and Shannon stared at the miniature hot blond elf.  
  
"Now if you don't mind. I WANNA GO HOME!!" Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, started bawling.  
  
"Awwwwww!" Tiffany, Elise and Shannon said simultaneously. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Again. Ignoring Legolas completely. Again.  
  
Legolas stopped crying and looked at the three giggling girls incredulously, annoyed. "Excuse me! I'm incredibly good-looking here, you know!" he yelled at them. "You should be worshipping me!" They jumped, then looked apologetically at him.  
  
"Sorry," they said at the same time, then fell to giggling again. Legolas finally got fed up.  
  
He jumped to his miniature feet. "Okay! Shut up!" he yelled. The three girls finally, for probably once in their entire lives, shut up.  
  
"I didn't know that you knew how to say shut up," Shannon commented.  
  
"Well I do!" Legolas replied. "So live with it!"  
  
"Okay, okay! Don't get all worked up!" Shannon said, trying to calm the elf down.  
  
"But. I WANNA GO HOME! And I wanna see Father and Gimli and Arwen and Aragorn and Elladan and Elrohir and Elrond and Frodo and Sam and Merry and Pippin and." he went on for about five minutes, naming about fifty people. Tiffany finally stopped him.  
  
"Uh. no offense. but you said 'Father' twice."  
  
"AAAAAHHHHH! And you think I care why?" he shrieked.  
  
"Ummmm." said a new voice. The three girls looked up innocently to stare at their host. Elise hastily stuffed Legolas into the pocket of the hoodie she always wore. "Why are you guys talking to. the dresser?"  
  
"It was lonely. The dresser has feelings too, you know," said Tiffany sweetly.  
  
Kimmy shook her head and left, not wanting any of their weirdness to rub off on her.  
  
They heard a muffled shouting from Elise's pocket. The doorbell rang. Elise and Shannon were sleeping over at Tiffany's house that night, and it was Tiffany's dad, here to pick them up.  
  
"So. I guess we'll get to take him with us, huh?" asked Shannon energetically. Identical evil grins spread across their faces.  
  
Fortunately for him, Legolas could not see this. That was because HE was curled up in a pocket! A POCKET! Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, was curled up in. a teenager's hoodie pocket. Great.  
  
A/N: Instructions: Read story. Look for button at bottom of screen that says "Submit review". Press button. Write a nice review that is not a flame because flames make the author unhappy, and never underestimate the power of an unhappy author. :P ;)  
  
A/N: Midterms coming up! I probably won't be able to update for almost a week! Sorry! 


	4. Home at last!

Ch.4 Home at Last  
  
AN: Gabby: Thanx! I know, that's one of my favorite lines (and characters!) Lil dreamer: Thanks for the review! I appreciate it! TokyoGal89: Here's the next chap! Oh, and HE'S MINE!! BUT EVEN IF I CAN GET HIM AWAY FROM YOU, THEN I HAVE TO WRESTLE OVER HIM WITH THE REAL TIFFANY! Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Freedom-midnight: Thanks for the support! Hey... you have a poster of Legolas? Mind sending it to me... hehehehe... I DON'T HAVE ONE!! Gabriella: Oh, I suppose you can have Frodo... *sighs deeply* The things I do for my reviewers... Maureen: Thankyou! But... this is a little more than a start. It is, sadly, not going to be very long. *weeps uncontrollably* Untitled: Thankyou! *Grins hugely* CrimsonElf: Hey, we're all allowed a little insanity sometimes! ~_* Firsarniel: I do believe that is the nicest review I have ever gotten. I actually started crying. Thankyou!  
  
Tiffany's dad noticed something odd as he drove the three girls home. For once in their entire lives, they were actually quiet. Really quiet. REALLY quiet. Too quiet. He glanced back to find their identical perfectly innocent faces grinning perfectly innocently back at him. Oh dear.  
  
When Tiffany's dad looked away again, the three girls all exchanged evil grins, then looked at Elise's hoodie pocket, which was moving slightly again. Elise leaned over to Tiffany. "I wonder if he can breathe."  
  
"I dunno. I hope so."  
  
Shannon leaned over. "Maybe we should take him out for a bit."  
  
"And risk letting someone else see him and try to steal him from us? NEVER!!! Not a chance!"  
  
"K."  
  
The rest of the ride home was very quiet.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
When they arrived at Tiffany's house, they bolted for Tiffany's room. They hurried in, dodging the glances of Tiffany's crabby and incredibly odd next door neighbour, and slammed the door behind them.  
  
Elise pulled out Legolas and let him tumble on to the bed where he lay gasping for a while.  
  
"Oh, great. We just about suffocated Legolas," commented Shannon.  
  
"At least he's alive!" Elise supplied helpfully.  
  
Tiffany just stared wide-eyed. "Wow. I forgot just how hot he is..."  
  
Elise smacked her. "Forgot? How could you forget? He's LEGOLAS! He's hot! You CAN'T forget how hot he is!" They glanced around Tiffany's room, which was covered with posters of Legolas.  
  
"Yeah, no kidding!" Shannon chimed in. Legolas rolled his eyes. Did these girls HAVE to be so blunt? He knew that he was the best-looking elf in Mirkwood, but what exactly was this "hot"? Yes, it had certainly been hot while he was suffocating in that sweatshirt, but he wasn't very hot any more. They implied that it had something to do with his looks. Hot meant a high temperature! Did they speak another language, maybe?  
  
Legolas' Random Weird Thought Flash That Has Nothing To Do With The Story *Hey, don't I speak Sindarin and Westron? They speak neither but I can still understand them. Hmmmmm. Odd. Whatever.*  
  
Either that or they did speak this language, but they were just weird. Yup, he already knew that.  
  
All of a sudden, Legolas heard Elise talking to him. "Uh, Legolas? Why are your eyes twitching like that?"  
  
"Oh, don't worry. They always do that."  
  
Elise turned to Tiffany and Shannon. "Uh... since when?" she whispered.  
  
Before they could reply, Tiffany's mom opened the door. Legolas went back into the hoodie pocket, much to his chagrin.  
  
"Hi girls! You hungry? I have some cookies here. Mr. Mansel next door sent over some cilantro and oregano from his garden, and I asked him for a recipe I could use them in so here we have... cilantro oregano cookies. I tried one and, well... I thought maybe you could bring some over to him!"  
  
"Cilantro and... oregano? In the same cookie? In a cookie?" Muttered Tiffany to Elise, who nodded vigorously.  
  
"Sure Mom!" said Tiffany, cringing to her friends.  
  
After her mom had left, leaving some of the cookies there, Tiffany flopped back on her bed. "That freak is always working in his garden. So that's what he grows there. weird herb-" She was cut off by the sound of a small explosion from next door. "Oh, great."  
  
Legolas sighed, ignored and in a pocket again. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
AN: *In a hypnotizing voice, shiny object being swung back and forth.* You WILL review. You WILL not flame. Flames DON'T make for happy authors. Unhappy authors ARE scary. But basically, you WILL review. PLEEEEEEASE????????? *falls to ground* Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please?????!!!!! *cough* Anyways... 


	5. Mr Mansel's!

Ch.5 Mr. Mansel's!  
  
Disclaimer: Forgot this on the last chapter, but once and for all, IT'S NOT MINE!!!!!! Except... I do own Elise, (myself), Shannon, and Tiffany... At least, I think I own them... Tiffany, Shannon? Do I own you guys? Hmmm...  
  
Responses to Reviewers: Gabriella: lol! Thanx, I hope that this chapter is as good! Soldat: Short? Oh, well. *sighs* Hey, your name seems to remind me of someone's MSN name... hehehe. Lol. ~_* Thanks for reading it! -MEGA-: Thanks for saying it was a great story! As for his personality- well, yes, I have read the books so I see what you mean, but this story wouldn't have been much fun to write if his personality was like it was in the books, so yes, I do mean to distort his personality some. Kazle: Sorry it wasn't very soon! lol. I love my reviewers. TokyoGal89: My most faithful reviewer! I love that line too! Unfortunately, neither me or the real Tiffany owns a room full of Legolas posters. *sobs* Hey, I can dream though. You have a poster of Anakin? I have a framed movie poster for the Fellowship of the Ring... Elven Platapus: Interesting name! I like it! Here's another chapter! Calm! And as this is a humor fic I don't think I'll kill him off, but you never know... BWA HAHA!!! Maureen: Certainly my dream! Lol. Thanks for the review! Jubei-Chan: You REVIEWED!!!!! *starts bouncing off the walls, shrieking and clapping hands* I feel so SPECIAL!! Hehehehe... And I love your review! Thankyou! Keep writing poetry! The three girls who are a tad insane... are actually based on me and my two best friends. Hehehehe... and this story is based on things that actually happened... except for Legolas... WAHHHHH!!! Thankyou for reviewing! ~_*  
  
At the sound of the gigantic wail from the tiny elf in her pocket, Elise pulled him out and set him on the bed. "You wanna come with us or stay here until we get back?"  
  
Dakota, Tiffany's dog, jumped up and began sniffing Legolas.  
  
"That would be a 'come with us', I'm guessing," commented Shannon as Legolas leaped back into 'his' pocket.  
  
Tiffany eyed the cookies, still muttering something about cilantro, oregano and cookies. She finally got up after Elise waved her hand in front of Tiffany's eyes a few dozen times. "Well... *gulp* we might as well... head over to Mr. Mansel's house...or we could not..." She made to sit back down.  
  
Five minutes of struggling, cursing, and generally disagreeing later she found herself facing her WONDERFUL next-door neighbour's door, Elise holding both her arms and Shannon armed with the cookies.  
  
"Well, here goes!" Shannon rang the doorbell. Tiffany moaned, but relaxed, apparently not wanting to appear too odd in front of Mr. Mansel.  
  
The door opened, and there stood a man with thinning gray hair and wearing a lab coat. "Yes?" he queried.  
  
"Ummm... HiI'mTiffanyyourneighbour'sdaughterandyouknowhowyougavemymomsomecilantroando reganowellsheaskedmetobringoversomeofthecookiestoyousoheretheyareenjoy!"  
  
"What????"  
  
Elise rolled her eyes. "She pretty much said that her mom sent over some of the cookies she made with the recipe you gave her." Elise edged away when she saw him staring hard at her pocket.  
  
"Yes, come in, come in!" he accepted the cookies from Shannon, and at feeling their weight, looked up again. "Did she not keep any?"  
  
Shannon cut off Tiffany, who had been about to blurt out 'No!' "She made a double batch, so she gave you half, and thanks you very kindly." She stepped in front of Elise and Tiffany, who were trying to hide behind eachother, Elise to hide her pocket, Tiffany for reasons unknown, just generally trying to hide. "If I may be so bold," asked Shannon, pretty sure Elise and Tiffany were busy running in circles, "we heard an explosion earlier..."  
  
"Oh, yes, I'm a-a chemist, and I was... experimenting."  
  
Unbeknownst (A/N: What a cool word!) to the three friends, Legolas had lightly hopped out of Elise's pocket, having gotten a little dizzy from the running in circles. Curious as to what this 'experiment' might have been.  
  
Legolas, half way down the hallway, suddenly looked up to find himself staring at a cat. "Why me..." he groaned. "I'm always the one that stuff happens to. Always ME. I get shrunk, I get mysteriously beamed to this 'Earth', I get discovered by three insane teenagers, I find myself face to face with this huge beast..." he continued this way for a few minutes.  
  
Finally the cat, which had first been interested in a possible meal, was finding itself rather scared. This thing wouldn't stop talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And talking.  
  
When Legolas FINALLY shut up, (he may have been learning from our friendly teenagers) he looked up, expecting the cat to be about to eat him. It was actually... asleep. Hmmmm. How could that possibly have happened? Oh, well. Cool. He smacked himself. He had to get back to Middle Earth before any more of their weird ways of talking rubbed off on him.  
  
Completely oblivious to Legolas's near-death situation, Elise and Tiffany continued to run in circles, trying to hide behind each other, Shannon continued to stutter and attempt to make pleasant conversation, completely not helped by the other two, and Mr. Mansel continued to hedge about exactly what he was experimenting with.  
  
Anyway, Legolas's part is more exciting, so back to him.  
  
Having 'defeated' the cat, Legolas victoriously made his way to the shed, very curious as to what a 'chemist' did.  
  
Legolas crept under a door, and out into the garden, which the shed was on the other side of. "Ahhhhh..." sighed Legolas. "Feels like home." Indeed, all the strange looking herbs reminded him amazingly of a forest. He took a brief break from his long journey to sit down in the shade of a cilantro plant before trekking out once again. The lack of flowers certainly added to the foresty feel, as well, there aren't any ten foot flowers in a forest.  
  
Brief check on our other characters: Elise and Tiffany, running in circles, Shannon stuttering, Mr. Mansel hedging. Back to Legolas.  
  
Slipping under the door of the shed, he gazed around in awe. Everything was so... so big! (A/N: Um... yeah. That would be because you're, like, three inches tall, in case you hadn't noticed that yet.) Legolas glared at the author who winced and let Legolas continue with the story.  
  
Legolas hopped up onto a table with a large stone on it. (Author restrains self, staring at small stone.) He reached out to touch it and-  
  
Back to other characters.  
  
Shannon, still stuttering, is suddenly interrupted by a shriek from Elise, who is immediately crashed into by a still-running Tiffany. "He's GONE!"  
  
A/N: Hehehe... Now, if you want more, you must REVIEW!!! MUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH MY CLIFFHANGERS!!!! Wait... I already have three other world domination plans with three other people. Oh, well. Now I have four. REVIEW!!! 


	6. Gold Great

Ch.6 Gold. Great.  
  
Disclaimer: Hmmmmph. Well, Shannon says that no, I don't own her. Darn it. But I own much of her behaviour, so HA! Got you there, Shannon! And my sister just made me realize something; I pretty much own all of this except Legolas, (and Shannon, Tiffany, and her family! So stop glaring at me!) so now I feel special.  
  
Responses to Reviewers: A big thankyou to those reviewers who kept me writing!  
  
TokyoGal89: You reviewed TWICE!!!!!! *grins huge and insanely* I feel so SPECIAL!! Thanx for being one of the people who kept me writing! I know, I hate cliffhangers too. I love my framed poster! Legolas is so small in that poster though! :'( Hey, when you buy your poster, you're always welcome to buy one for me and send it to me... lol. You love this story? Yay!!!  
  
Neko_chan13: Continuing! Hehe... I love your review! Made me laugh! Thankyou!  
  
Sadistra: Here's one thing that's gonna happen to Legolas! Read below! Thanks!  
  
Kim: You reviewed! Look everyone! One of the characters in my story reviewed! Oh yah. I guess I don't own you either! :'( Thanks Kimmy!  
  
Lady Knight: Ahhhhh!! Geez! Step away... from the sword. I am updating. Put the sword down and walk away. Thanks for the review! I know! *sighs* I wish that too...  
  
Yellow Drake X: Ahhh... another faithful reviewer, reviewed at last. Thankyou!! Calm! I wrote more!  
  
Annoying Took: Thankyou for the review, very encouraging! Well... I reviewed one of yours... and loved it! Hey, everyone, go read Annoying Took's stories!  
  
"He's WHAT???" shrieked Tiffany, picking herself up off the ground and then helping Elise up. She glanced at Mr. Mansel, then hid behind Elise, who no longer had an excuse to hide.  
  
"Ummm... Tiffany? Feeling a little deaf today? She said that he was gone. Lego-" Elise clapped a hand over Shannon's mouth and smiled charmingly at Mr. Mansel. Tiffany glared at Shannon, and opened her mouth, but Elise covered her mouth as well.  
  
"Yes, as Shannon was saying, the... uh... the... Lego piece that I was, for some completely normal reason that everyone is unaware of, carrying around in my pocket, is gone! Yah, one of those little Lego men, you know..." she trailed off, and looked pleadingly at her friends.  
  
Tiffany made a muffled noise, and Elise let go of her mouth after encouraging Tiffany to just talk, then realizing that her hand was still there. "*splutter* Yes, that's it, a little Lego piec-" she stopped as Mr. Mansel suddenly winced as if he had been struck, then, as if drawn by another force, turned towards his shed, eyes wide.  
  
Tiffany leaned over to Elise. "Do you think this has something to do with the cookies?"  
  
Elise closed her eyes and attempted to remain calm. "No Tiffany. Just forget the cookies."  
  
"I can't forget the cookies. I mean, just look at them. They have weird herbs in them. I mean, those cookies have issues."  
  
"F. O. R. G. E. T. T. H. E. C. O. O. K. I. E. S. Tiffany, we lost LEGOLAS!!!!"  
  
They froze. Mr. Mansel stared. "Le..." Blue lab coat flying, he raced for the shed.  
  
And now, back to who you've all been waiting for... LEGOLAS and the small- Legolas: LARGE! Author: Small! Legolas: You said I could do the story! Author: fine!  
  
And now, back to who you've all been waiting for... LEGOLAS and the LARGE stone! There, happy? Legolas: *smiles sweetly*  
  
Legolas hopped up onto a table with a large stone on it. He reached out to touch it and-  
  
Well. This was odd. He didn't really feel... the SAME as usual. He tried to shake his head and continue looking at other things, but just- didn't. He couldn't move. Great. Why did everything always happen to him?  
  
Legolas heard the sound of the door being thrown open. That man- Mr... Mans? Mansy? Something like that, rushed over to Legolas.  
  
"It WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs and started dancing around. "It worked it worked it worked it wooooooooooorrrrkkkkkeeeeddddd!"  
  
O.O O.O O.O  
  
"I think the cookies have started to affect his brain," muttered Tiffany to Elise. Elise restrained herself from hurting her best friend. Badly.  
  
The three girls looked around. "Gee," commented Shannon. "I... uh, didn't think this was what a... chemist's lab would look like."  
  
Mr. Mansel stopped his insane dancing and stared at them. He emitted a sound that was suspiciously like a squeak, and they found themselves facing the door of his shed.  
  
Tiffany shook her head. "It's the cookies!" she exclaimed.  
  
Shannon held Elise down.  
  
Shannon looked at her friends. "Um, guys? You know that we just LOST OUR LEGOLAS AND WE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT HIM??? LEGOLAS??? YOU KNOW, THE HOT GUY???"  
  
"We... lost... Legolas?" squeaked Tiffany.  
  
Elise held Shannon down.  
  
"Alright, 1... 2... 3..." They burst through the door of the shed. Mr. Mansel froze, hiding something behind his back.  
  
The girls, for convenience of this story, managed to hold a psychic conversation.  
  
Elise and Tiffany, for convenience of this story, somehow managed to distract Mr. Mansel as Shannon crept around behind him to see what he was hiding.  
  
Shannon shrieked. "Lego-"  
  
Now, I'm sure you all want to hear Legolas's thoughts.  
  
Legolas's thoughts: This really, Really, REALLY sucks. Hey, at least I look pretty.  
  
Back to our characters who are capable of doing stuff, even if it's only for convenience of the story.  
  
Shannon snatched Legolas out of Mr. Mansel's hands. He whirled around. She ran back to Tiffany and Elise.  
  
Elise froze, her mouth hanging open, and Shannon's eyes went wide and didn't say anything. Tiffany realized that it was now her job to say something.  
  
"WHATDIDYOUDOTOOURLEGOLASANDWHYISHEMADEOFGOLD???"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Tiffany steeled herself. She was going to have to talk to... Mr. Mansel without... well... talking like she usually did to Mr. Mansel.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR LEGOLAS, AND WHY IS HE MADE OF GOLD???"  
  
"Oh... heh heh... right... the gold..." he hedged. Tiffany gave him a death glare.  
  
"Fine! Since I'm sure you've figured it out by now, I will tell you! I am not a chemist, exactly, I am an... alchemist."  
  
The three girls stared blankly. Mr. Mansel knew it must be shock.  
  
"You're a what?"  
  
"What's an alchemist?"  
  
"You said you were a chemist!"  
  
"An alchemist is someone who attempts to invent the Philosopher's Stone. Mine... WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Tiffany remembered how many weird rocks she had seen him throwing into his trash. "You're not... the BEST alchemist are you?"  
  
Mr. Mansel looked depressed. "Not particularly."  
  
Elise squealed. "An alchemist?! Alchemists are the best! I've always loved alchemists!"  
  
Her friends stared at her. "You what?"  
  
"So... what's an alchemist?"  
  
Elise cleared her throat. "Anyway, now that we know what you are... *glares at Shannon, who made the last statement* maybe you can REVERSE WHATEVER IT WAS YOU DID TO OUR LEGOLAS?" she hugged him to her protectively before Tiffany snatched him away.  
  
Mr. Mansel smiled nervously. "Well, you see, what happened to your beloved Legolas wasn't actually... supposed to happen. It's only supposed to turn metals to gold. Apparently elves must have a metallic quality to them."  
  
O.O O_O -_-  
  
A/N: This story is not meant to have any references to Harry Potter in it. I just used an alchemist because I LOOOOOOVE alchemists and so does my sister, and it seemed an ideal addition to the plot. Mr. Mansel is actually based on an alchemist from a computer game and my retired French teacher.  
  
A/N: I NEED REVIEWS!!!! I LIVE OFF OF REVIEWS!!!! I BREATHE REVIEWS!!!!! I EAT REVIEWS!!!!! Ok, maybe I don't eat reviews. That would be kinda pointless. BUT ANYWAY, RRRRRRREEEEEEVVVVVVIIIIIIIEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!! Or I'll... I'll... get Mr. Mansel the incredibly bad alchemist to turn you into gold with his stone that's only supposed to turn metal to gold! *_~ 


	7. Ahhh I never liked gold anyway

Ch.7 Ahhh... never liked gold anyway.  
  
A/N: First of all, there is a REAL Ch.6 up now, so GO READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!!! Now that I've got that over with.  
  
Disclaimer: Well, I was reading my last chapter's disclaimer, you know where I said that I owned everything except... well, I realized that pretty much all I own is myself. *looks depressed*  
  
Responses to Reviews: I got 1, count 'em 1 reviews for the real Ch.6. Don't I feel special. But a big thankyou to Gabbey; I really appreciate the review, keep 'em comin'!  
  
O.O O_O -_-  
  
"You actually have no clue what you did, did you?" asked Tiffany in a... slightly dangerous tone.  
  
"Uh...hehehe... of COURSE I do!"  
  
"Riiiight."  
  
"ANYWAY," interrupted Elise, resisting the urge to clap a hand over Tiffany's mouth again. "The point is, he doesn't have to know what he did, he just has to know how to undo it!" She smiled happily at her brilliant proclamation.  
  
Tiffany stared. "You've been into the cookies too, haven't you."  
  
Shannon also stared. "And he's supposed to undo it HOW when he doesn't even know what he did?"  
  
"Shut up. Anyway, now that he's gold we get to keep him forever. I guess that's one bonus," commented Elise lamely.  
  
Legolas' thoughts: They actually WANT me to stay gold? I feel so hurt. But this is cool. I have got to admit, this is cool. Wait. Cool? Did I just say cool? I have got to get back to Middle Earth.  
  
Back to characters who think that cool is a normal part of the English language.  
  
"Here, let me see him," said Mr. Mansel, reaching for Legolas. "Maybe if I just play around a bit..."  
  
"Can I become your apprentice? ^_^" asked Elise eagerly and randomly.  
  
"Cookies," muttered Tiffany to Shannon, who shook her head.  
  
"Ummmm... I choose to ignore that random and eager request as I do not have time for it right now."  
  
-_-  
  
"Actually, you know, maybe you could after all!"  
  
"Getting on with the topic of LEGOLAS!" Tiffany practically shrieked.  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
"Riiiight."  
  
"As I said, let me see him, I'll play around for a bit, and see what I can do about removing the goldness."  
  
"Mine!" Tiffany clutched him closer, before Shannon wrestled him away.  
  
"No, mine!"  
  
Elise grabbed for him. "Let the alchemist see what he can do!"  
  
At that exact moment, all three of the girls seemed to see someone else's nails-turned-claws on a collision course for their hands, so all three moved back suddenly.  
  
Golden Legolas, being now held by no one, fell to the floor. This also happened because the air wasn't being overly kind that day, and decided to be very unhelpful and not catch Legolas. Besides, too much work.  
  
Legolas fell to the floor and-  
  
Shattered.  
  
Legolas's thoughts: I hope that they stop fighting over me soon. Oh look, they stopped fighting over me. Great. Except for the fact that none of them is now holding me. C'mon, air, be nice for once. Nope. Stupid air. Ow. That hurt.  
  
"MY LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" OO OO OO  
  
Long, awkward silence.  
  
At exactly the same second, all three of the girls started sobbing into eachother's shoulders. Mr. Mansel moved closer to the dust clouds that were rising from the floor, trying to see through them.  
  
Suddenly, a three-inch-tall figure stood up, shaking his head and staring up. Mr.Mansel let out a cheer, then looked depressed, realizing that all his invention had done was gold-plating.  
  
Our three teenagers kept sobbing, not seeing Legolas, until he crawled up Shannon's leg, and, climbing up onto her head, waved at the other two and shouted at the top of his tiny lungs.  
  
Elise looked up. "Awesomeness. LEGOLAS!!!"  
  
Tiffany and Shannon also looked up, and Legolas went flying off Shannon's head. He shot an arrow with a small rope attached to it into Elise's waist- length hair, and scaled up like a mountain climber.  
  
This was all good, of course, until the strand holding most of Legolas's weight broke while he was half way up.  
  
"LEGOLAS!!!!!" screamed three voices. Mr. Mansel still looked depressed.  
  
"Maybe he should lay off the cookies," thought Tiffany, before realizing that, oh yeah, Legolas was falling.  
  
"Ahhhhhh!" cried Legolas as he fell into-  
  
A/N: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Well, review and tell me how much you hate me! Because, you know, you WANT to review. You REALLY WANT to review. Because you don't want to become gold-plated. ;) 


	8. Not tiny anymore! So sad

Ch.8 Not tiny any more! How sad...  
  
A/N: It's all mine! MUAHAHA!!!! Stop glaring at me! I was GOING to say, "It's all mine... except for Legolas, Tiffany, her family, her dog, and Shannon!" There, happy, have I forgotten anything!?  
  
Responses to Reviewers: Gabriella: hehe... Poor Frodo... hehe. Live with it, Frodo! But, you are about to find out what it was he fell into! ^_^ Thanks for the review! Anime*Angel: Ooooh! What kind of anime do you like? And no, it is not water or doggy doo... I'm not really sure what I would do with either of those in the plot! Besides, I just realized; Mr. Mansel has a cat... Thanx for the review! Lhundalwen: Hey, what country are you from? Just curious. I know, I loved the plot even before I started writing it just because I would have a tiny Legolas... in my hoodie pocket...hehehe... ^_^ TokyoGal89: I know, I hate them too... except, of course, when I'm writing them... MUAHAHAHA... Anywho... Thankyou so much for the review! You are my most faithful reviewer! Every chapter! I feel so special! ^_________^  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Legolas cried as he fell into-  
  
Some weird substance that he had certainly never fallen into, much less seen, before in his life.  
  
Mr. Mansel looked up from being depressed and gasped as Legolas slipped below the surface.  
  
Having a desperate urge to grab Legolas, but not particularly wanting to touch- whatever it was- the three girls stared into the depths, looking very much depressed.  
  
Legolas's thoughts: *Blub blub*  
  
Back To Characters Who Are Not Currently Drowning In Some Unknown Goop But Are Instead Standing On The Sidelines Looking Worried But Disgusted.  
  
"Ugh... what IS that?" asked Tiffany, edging away slightly.  
  
Shannon also recoiled slightly. "Ewwwwww..."  
  
Elise leaned forward and then looked up at Mr. Mansel eagerly. "What is that? Did you make it? Can you teach me to make it? What does it do? Is it going to... hurt Legolas?" She looked slightly more worried at the last question, but it didn't seem that much was going to dim her enthusiasm about this alchemy.  
  
"Well, first of all," Mr. Mansel said, heading forward with tongs. "We should probably take him out."  
  
While Mr. Mansel poked around in the fluid with his tongs, Tiffany took the opportunity to talk to Elise.  
  
"Elise, I'm just asking this for your own good, you know."  
  
Elise nodded, curious.  
  
"Well... didyoutryanyofthosecookiesbecauseifsoIthinkthatthey'rereallystartingtoaffect yourbrainandifnotthanwhatiswrongwithyouyouwanttobecomeanalchemist!"  
  
Elise, having known Tiffany for quite a long time, could understand her friend perfectly, and was not overjoyed at it.  
  
Shannon restrained Elise. Barely.  
  
"Ah, got him!" Mr. Mansel pulled out a spluttering Legolas and set him down on the floor, looking (to Tiffany and Shannon, at least, but not Elise, she was weirdly too busy being happy about the alchemy thing) oddly interested and curious as he stared at Legolas.  
  
Legolas's thoughts: *splutter* Finally, what took so long?  
  
Tiffany's thoughts: Cookies. Very plainly. But why is he staring at him so oddly? I mean, he's known what Legolas looked like for more than an hour now. Hmmmmm.  
  
Shannon's thoughts: I wish Tiffany would stop with the cookies. Restraining Elise is getting to be hard. What is Mr. Mansel's problem? He looks weirdly... expectant.  
  
Elise's thoughts: Alchemy is cool! ^_____^ Legolas is okay! ^_____^ Mr. Mansel better let me become his apprentice. -_____- That would be cool. ^_____^  
  
Mr. Mansel's thoughts: Interesting, interesting. *mentally taps fingers together* *rubs hand through sparse hair absently*  
  
Mr. Mansel's cat's thoughts: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
My thoughts: STOP THINKING THINGS ALL OF YOU SO I CAN GET ON WITH THE STORY!!! -_-  
  
So, anyway, while the girls were distracted, Mr. Mansel squatted, staring closely at Legolas.  
  
Legolas fumbled for his bow and backed away slightly, uncomfortable. But, it was odd. Mr. Mansel didn't seem quite as big as usual.  
  
Suddenly, Mr. Mansel let out a huge whoop and started leaping around shrieking nonsense.  
  
Legolas stared at the man. This room wasn't as big as he had thought, either.  
  
The three girls, still clustered together whispering, though Elise kept twitching as if she wanted to ask Mr. Mansel what was going on, or go play with the chemicals herself, and whenever she twitched, Tiffany would twitch threateningly and Shannon would twitch as if to restrain Tiffany, so they looked rather twitchy all together.  
  
Legolas closed his eyes and shook his head, stretching. When he opened his eyes again-  
  
Everything was... normal again. Everything in the room was about the size it should have been.  
  
"Yes!" cried Legolas, staring down at himself, glad to be six feet again. Three inches was very unpleasant. He glanced over at Tiffany, Elise, and Shannon, and stared disbelievingly, not daring to believe that he had actually fit inside Elise's hoodie pocket.  
  
Mr. Mansel took another look at Legolas, and just burst into tears, a gigantic grin on his face.  
  
Finally, being able to resist no longer, Elise whirled around. Tiffany and Shannon also turned around.  
  
Legolas stared at them. Full size Legolas.  
  
"So... hot..."  
  
"So... hot..."  
  
"So... hot..."  
  
^____________^ ^____________^ ^____________^  
  
And with that, all three girls slumped to the floor in a dead faint.  
  
Legolas stared at them. "Umm... okay..."  
  
A/N: I like this chapter! For anyone who might be wondering... this is NOT going to turn into a romance. Never! But anywho... so hot... sorry, Legolas is tiny no longer! Oh well... hehehe... REVIEW!!!!!! I'VE BEEN GETTING SO FEW REVIEWS LATELY! *sniffles* *blinks* hehehe... I'm fine... BUT HAHAHA!!!! I think next chapter might be the last one! (Or possibly the second last) So, if you don't review, I won't post! Hehehe... got you there... now just be nice and hit that little "Submit Review' button and then, next week, you get another chapter! ^__^ 


	9. Back home at last

Ch. 9 Back home again  
  
Disclaimer: I own myself and Mr. Mansel. In this chapter, I return what I borrowed from JRR Tolkien. Read on to understand.  
  
Responses to Reviews: I got over 50! Thankyou everyone!  
  
TokyoGal89: Cool! That's an interesting bit of Orli trivia. Kinda fits with the Legolas thing, huh? I also read somewhere that he recently quit smoking. That does not fit with the Legolas thing. Oh well. Thankyou for reviewing every chapter of this story! ^__^  
  
Yellow Drake X: Here's what's happening next!  
  
Kim: You REVIEWED!! AGAIN!! *gets all happy*  
  
Lady Knight: Ummmm... *shrinks back* You scare me... Glad you like the story... *turns and runs*  
  
Ringwraith9: Thankyou for the review... I think...  
  
Ringwqraith9 for Ch.2: Are you the same as the above? And I'm not sure he'd want a cilantro and oregano cookie...  
  
Tera Earth: I know! *gets all happy and talks for two hours about how hot Legolas is* *sister stares* Anyway... thankyou for the review...  
  
Gabriella: sadly, no, he is not. Hahahaha... stop struggling Frodo, it's futile to resist...  
  
Diana: Here's what happens next! I love it when people from my school review...  
With that, the three girls slumped to the floor in a dead faint.  
  
Legolas stared at them. "Um... okay..."  
  
Mr. Mansel hurried over and dumped water on them. All three girls woke up, sputtering.  
  
At the sight of Legolas in his normal form, all three seemed dangerously close to fainting again, but succeeded in NOT fainting, to Legolas and Mr. Mansel's relief.  
  
Elise, Shannon and Tiffany seemed to stand there, frozen, staring at Legolas.  
  
*1 hour later*  
  
Elise, Shannon and Tiffany seemed to stand there, frozen, staring at Legolas.  
  
Mr. Mansel coughed loudly, and they were brought back to reality. With a last glance at Legolas, they turned to each other and began to whisper at a million miles an hour. "Isn't he hot?"  
  
"I KNOW!!!!"  
  
"Amazing."  
  
"I wonder how Mr. Mansel got him un-shrunk!" The last one was Elise.  
  
Shannon and Tiffany glared at her. "Nobody cares!"  
  
Ignoring them, Elise turned to Mr. Mansel. "So, what WAS that stuff that Legolas fell into to make him grow?"  
  
"Oh, that was my growing potion. I use it for my ha-" He cut himself off, smiling sheepishly. He reached up unconsciously to fiddle with his comb- over.  
  
Tiffany eyed his head. "You use it for your hair, right?"  
  
Mr. Mansel nodded. Elise glared at Tiffany. "But THAT doesn't matter!" she proclaimed.  
  
Shannon was drooling slightly. Tiffany smacked her. "Stop drooling. It's gross!"  
  
Elise, who had been having a quick whispered conversation with Mr. Mansel in which she ended up glaring a lot and he finally sighed and gave up, motioning her over to his chemicals and books.  
  
Elise bounced back to Tiffany and Shannon. "I'm his APPRENTICE!!!!" ^_^  
  
Tiffany twitched violently. Shannon stared. "You heard Tiffany earlier. He isn't even very good!"  
  
"But I will be!" proclaimed Elise, and bounced over to the chemicals.  
  
Tiffany turned to Shannon and raised her eyebrows. "This could be interesting." With that, they turned their attention back to Legolas, who looked uncomfortable.  
  
Legolas's thoughts: This is scary. They keep staring at me. Why don't they look somewhere else?  
  
Back To Other Characters Who Are Either Making Legolas Uncomfortable Or Playing With Chemicals In An Alchemist's Lab:  
  
Elise's thoughts: Hehehehehehehe... This is SO cool! I have chemicals... MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *cough* I'm fine...  
  
Tiffany's thoughts: *stares at Elise sadly* Those cookies have affected her brain... Legolas is hot... I might have to hurt Elise if she doesn't stop soon... or Mr. Mansel if he doesn't stop her...  
  
Shannon's thoughts: Legolas is hot... I wish Tiffany would stop staring murderously at Elise and Mr. Mansel... Elise is probably going to end up blowing something up... *groans*  
  
*Awkward Silence*  
  
"I MADE something!!!" shrieked Elise at the top of her lungs. Everyone started in surprise. She dashed over to Mr. Mansel to proudly show off... whatever it was that she had just made. In reality, all she had done was ignored the book and grabbed some of the coolest- looking chemicals and thrown them together in a hope that they wouldn't explode.  
  
From Shannon's science training at school, she knew that, because there was a color change, it had to have been a chemical change. Which was, of course, one of those annoying little facts that popped into Shannon's head at very annoying moments.  
  
Mr. Mansel glanced nervously into the beaker. "What is it?" asked Tiffany. Elise was nearly jumping up and down.  
  
"I- I honestly have no clue what you have just created." Mr. Mansel commented after a while.  
  
Legolas glanced nervously at the beaker. He didn't like people mixing random things out of substances that he hadn't known existed.  
  
Elise pouted and started to head back to the table. On the way, she looked up to smile at Legolas- he was nearly a foot taller than her- and, of course, looking that high up for her and considering that she had weak ankles to begin with, her ankle, of course, gave out, and the substance, of course, went flying all over Legolas.  
  
He started in surprise, until there was a huge  
  
*KA-BOOM*  
  
sound and he... wasn't there any more.  
  
Tiffany looked puzzled. "Did you shrink him back?"  
  
Shannon burst into tears. "YOU KILLED MY LEGOLAS!"  
  
Mr. Mansel attempted to calm down the three hysterical teens. "Well..." he studied the dirt where Legolas had stood. "I don't think you killed him or anything. I just think... he's gone."  
  
Elise looked up. Mr. Mansel was flipping madly through his books. "AH- HAH!!!!" he screamed, making all three jump.  
  
"What did you use, exactly?"  
  
Elise wordlessly pointed to eleven substances, having no clue what their names were anyway.  
  
Mr. Mansel read them out slowly, and, for the purposes of this story, their names' first letters magically spelt out Middle Earth. How sweet. How corn-  
  
Everyone except author: Shut up!  
  
Author: Sorry.  
  
So Legolas is back in Middle Earth, because, of course, that's where he was from, and the potion Elise somehow managed to create first-thing instilled a homing feature in his very molecules, so that they pulled him back to Middle Earth.  
  
Legolas looked around curiously, and was unsurprised to see that he was lying under the trees of Mirkwood forest. He got up from where he had been lying on the soft, pine-needle covered ground. He puzzled at that... he never slept on the ground. Legolas stretched. What a weird dream. He did have to admit it had been cool, though. Wait. COOL???  
  
Back on our Earth with no front, middle, back, top or bottom, our four heroes sighed happily. Though also sadly, for our three teenagers. But, all's well as ends well, and now, as Mr. Mansel chucked the plate of cookies in the garbage, he had never like that recipe, that was why he had GIVEN IT AWAY, there were no more scary cookies to deal with either.  
  
There was one thing Elise knew. She would never play pool again.  
  
Tiffany looked sideways at Elise and Shannon. "Hey, you guys wanna go play air hockey?"  
  
The End.  
  
******* IMPORTANT A/N********* Ah... the last chapter. *Bursts into tears* BUT!!!!!!! There is a but here. If anyone has any suggestions for adventures that miniature Legolas could have had... just one-shot little things, then please send them to me! I will write them and tack them onto this story as one-chapter things, and I will update these about every two weeks for as long as they keep coming! You can either review these to me, or email them, my address is legolass118@hotmail.com. Please review, and please give me ideas! I will give out cilantro and oregano cookies! (To those who DON'T give me ideas! Hahaha!) 


	10. BONUS CHAPTER!

Mini-Adventure ;)  
  
A/N: This is just a little one-chapter thing, an adventure that mini- Legolas could have had while he was tiny! This story takes place at Shannon's house. She has three little sisters. Thankyou to Ringwraith9 for the idea! Enjoy! ^_^  
  
Thankyou to my reviewers:  
  
Freakygurl12: Glad you liked it! The real Tiffany and Shannon actually have already planned out my sequel FOR me. *glares*  
  
TokyoGal89: Well, one person did give me an idea, and here it is! You can thank Ringwraith9 for this chapter! But, other than that, I have no ideas. *looks sad* Though I may write a sequel... Thanks for the review for every chapter of the story! ^_^  
  
Kim: Thanks Kimmy! Here's another chapter! ^____^  
  
TrinityTheSheDevil: Wow, from you a pretty good, is, like, awesome! I love your stories! I think I've read all of them now... Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Tera Earth: *snarls* MY LEGOLAS!!! MINE!!! MIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!! *coughs* Sorry, don't mind my issues. Here he is... back!  
How had it come to this? Thought Legolas. Ah, yes, he remembered very well how it had come to this. THAT was how it had come to this. He let his mind wander to the events of half an hour before...  
  
"She actually SAID that to you?" exclaimed Shannon, looking at Elise, who was nodding vigorously, while Tiffany stood nearby twitching.  
  
Apparently, thought Legolas, Tiffany didn't like people picking on Elise. He couldn't believe it either! He was shocked, he was angry, he was... bored out of his mind.  
  
Shannon glanced at the tiny elf sitting on her bed. He looked... bored out of his mind. "Hey Legolas, why don't you go run around the house. You seem... bored out of your mind."  
  
Legolas nodded gratefully as Tiffany put him on the floor so he could run off.  
  
*15 minutes later*  
  
Gee, thought Legolas, who'd have thought stairs would be so difficult to get down? He was just on the final stair when he glanced up to see... Shannon's six year old sister. Joy to the world.  
  
Erica giggled and picked him up. "You're so cuuuuuuuuute!" she squealed happily. "I know what I can do with you!"  
  
With that, the child started to run down the stairs, giggling the whole time.  
  
"Where are we going?" Legolas called to her, but she either was ignoring him, or had suddenly gained selective hearing and actually did not hear him.  
  
Finally, they arrived in the basement, where Erica set him down. "Stay right there," whispered the six year old. Legolas nodded agreeably, finding this excitable child currently more fun to be with than the teenagers upstairs.  
  
She ducked into a closet and began to pull some things out and bring them over to another area of the basement, all hidden by the couch, which was... well, let's just say a LOT higher than Legolas. He couldn't see anything behind it.  
  
He got up to head around the side of the couch to see what was going, but Erica whirled around. "Stay THERE!" she commanded with a pout.  
  
Legolas, seeing the bottom lip stuck out, quickly obliged.  
  
Let's go check on out teenagers.  
  
"You mean he actually TOLD you that?" Elise asked, staring wide eyed at Tiffany, who nodded angrily. Shannon glared.  
  
Wow, these girls have monotonous conversations.  
  
Teenagers: Shut up! -__- -__- -__-  
  
Anyway...  
  
"Hey, Legolas has been gone quite a long time," mentioned Tiffany. "You think we should go check on him? What if he fell down a furnace vent or something?"  
  
Shannon raised her eyebrow. "Fell down a furnace-"  
  
Elise interrupted, checking the owl shaped watch that she wore around her neck. "Yah, it's been almost twenty minutes. Let's just go see what he's doing."  
  
Suddenly, Shannon sat up straight. "I just realized; Erica's home!"  
  
And so, that said, all three girls shrieked and ran out of the room like they were being chased by Mr. Mansel's cilantro and oregano cookies.  
  
Back To Our Hero Who Is Currently Unsuspectingly Hanging Around With Erica  
  
"It's ready! Close your eyes!" Legolas obliged, and felt the small six-year- old hand pick him up and carry him over to... wherever it was. He felt himself be put down in a chair.  
  
"Alright, you can open up now!" cried the enthusiastic child.  
  
Legolas opened his eyes to find himself sitting across from a way-too- pretty plastic woman. At the sight of this creature, he lost a fair bit of his elven grace and nearly fell backwards over his chair in fear.  
  
"You look so cuuuuuuute!"  
  
Ah, yes, thought Legolas, that was indeed how it had all happened. How... he had ended up having a tea party with this... Barbie creature. No offense to Erica, but it really was not much fun to have tea with a plastic woman. She was not much for conversation.  
  
As Legolas thought these bitter thoughts, our favourite teenagers came running in. "Erica where's- Oh."  
  
"Uh, Legolas?"  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
O_O O_O O_O  
  
Oh, great.  
  
A/N: How was that for a one chapter funny? ^_^ So, remember, if you have any more ideas, feel free to review them to me, or email me at legolass118@hotmail.com. Another question- does anyone want me to write a sequel? If so, then TELL ME! TELL ME WHEN I ASK!! *a-hem* Anyway, please R+R! Or I'll... I'll... sic my Tiffany on you! *Tiffany glares* *shrinks back* Uh... please just review, as I'll be very happy! *beams cheesy smile* 


	11. Bonus Chapter II

***DOUBLE BONUS CHAPTER*** ^_^ Well, yes, it has been a really really really long time since I wrote anything, but that's ok. This was requested a really really really long time ago, and I FINALLY decided to do something with it... and it's not my fault if it's bad, it was requested, remember. Disclaimer: Legolas isn't mine, everyone just generally belongs to themselves, and Barbie is CERTAINLY not mine! O, sorry, Legolas is a bit OOC.  
  
Prologue: (In deep, cheesy storyteller/announcer voice) After our last traumatizing adventure with Erica the Evil and Barbie, our small blonde hero is safely- well, I say safely, but then again how safe can you be with three teenage giants- anywho, moderately safely back with our three insane teenagers. Everything seems to be going fine. However, unbeknownst to our protagonists, young Erica snuck back into Shannon's room after supper, while Elise, Tiffany and Shannon were still finishing their meal. Armed with her Barbie, she searched quickly around the room, fearfully twitching as she worried about the three girls' looming presences suddenly appearing in the doorway. Not finding the elf anywhere in the room, as he was currently residing in Elise's ever-present-even-in-summer-at-least-when- it's-not-so-hot-she-would-faint sweatshirt Erica hurried out of the room, absent-mindedly leaving the Barbie in the room. *pants* That was a long prologue!  
  
The Story Begins  
  
This was the state that Elise, Tiffany, and Shannon found Shannon's room in- everything like normal, except for the doll lying on the bed wearing a strange orange outfit with neon green stripes and polkadots, and purple shoes.  
  
"That's odd," commented Shannon, "Erica must have left this here. When was SHE in my room?"  
  
Tiffany looked worried, but relaxed when Legolas poked his head out of Elise's pocket. "Oh good, you still have him."  
  
Legolas jumped onto the bed, saw the Barbie, gave a little un-elvish shriek, and jumped back into the pocket.  
  
Elise looked at the Barbie and then at her alchemy table, (one of which she had set up in pretty much all of her friends' rooms) then proceeded to let out a slightly evil and yet very, very scary laugh. Shannon jumped and hid behind Tiffany, who glared at her. Elise blinked at the quivering Shannon, then snickered. "Oh calm down, I'm just gonna try a spell I found for changing the color of cloth. I'm just enthusiastic, okay?"  
  
Tiffany breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, I hate those colors together. My eyes! I am blinded!" She ran around screaming and clutching her eyes for a bit as the others stood staring at her, then calmly went back to her position, and Elise and Shannon started moving again.  
  
Tiffany and Shannon went to the position sitting on the bed and reading that everyone seemed to take whenever Elise started on one of her weird alchemy... things.  
  
After half an hour of Elise muttering to herself and pouring liquids back in forth into three beakers, with Shannon and Tiffany pretending to read but actually watching out of the corners of their eyes, and just as they were feeling pretty sure that she wasn't actually doing anything, just pouring liquids back and forth, she finally cried "EUREKA!!!"  
  
Tiffany stared at her. "What?"  
  
But Elise didn't answer; she had just poured the mixture onto the Barbie, and was looking despondent, as the clothes seemed to have decided that they liked their color and honestly didn't care what Elise poured on them. "DARN IT!!!!!"  
  
Gently but firmly, Shannon and Tiffany each took an arm and guided the other teenager out of the room. "Perhaps this would be a good time to see a movie..." suggested Shannon  
  
"Yah, Finding Nemo!" beamed Tiffany.  
  
Later, as the three were taking their seats in the theater, Tiffany bouncing with excitement and proceeding to spill half her popcorn and most of her drink onto the man next to her, who looked highly affronted, Elise reached into her pocket to take out Legolas so he could watch the movie. Pausing, she felt around in her pocket. "That's odd. We musta left Legolas at home!"  
  
Tiffany looked surprised. "How did we forget His Hotness?"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, back at home, His Hotness had jumped out onto the now Barbie- free bed to watch Elise work. He didn't particularly feel like going to a movie right now anyway, so he didn't make himself known when the three left the room. The elf relaxed, lying back on the seemingly vast cushion on which he was perched. Sighing, he closed his eyes...  
  
...and was rudely awoken to the most annoying voice imaginable. "Like, OMG, what are you wearing?"  
  
Legolas's eyes popped open and he stared in horror at the Barbie, which was talking to him from Elise's alchemy table. Eyeing the distance between the bed and the table, which was about a foot, he sighed thankfully, realizing that this horrible Barbie creature wouldn't dare trying to break a nail by jumping across the distance.  
  
However, Legolas had underestimated the abilities of a Barbie who saw someone in need of a fashion makeover.  
  
As Legolas closed his eyes again, the small elf heard an odd scraping sound, and looked up to see that the Barbie had managed to slide a ruler most of the way across the distance. He winced in horror as it finally clunked into place on the bed.  
  
As Legolas watched, everything seemed to be in slow motion... he couldn't get his legs to move to kick the ruler off the bed, and the creature of terror's cries of "LIKE, OMG!!" seemed very distant.  
  
Until, of course, she was standing right in front of him, and her shrill voice was penetrating his little slow-motion world.  
  
"Like, OMG, like, how do you do your hair???? Mine, like, is obviously so much better styled, but yours, it's like, OMG, like, so healthy! Like, where do you get your clothes?" Scrunching up her tiny face in disgust, she made a sound of displeasure before remembering that frowning made wrinkles.  
  
Legolas looked at her helplessly. "At my home in Mirkwood..."  
  
***  
  
As the previews were starting, however, Elise could tell that Shannon seemed worried about something. Tiffany didn't notice, being too preoccupied with glaring at the man next to her who had gotten mad when she was just trying to be helpful... after all, the man had spilled his food all over himself!  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Elise.  
  
Shannon sighed. "Do you think Legolas is okay? He's probably mad that we forgot him. I hope that Erica didn't get to him..."  
  
Tiffany stopped dead in her fuming. "............Erica????............"  
  
The three girls ran out of the theater like a person would run for water after tasting Mr. Mansel's cookies.  
  
Half an hour later the three girls came bursting into Shannon's house and ran up the stairs, completely out of breath; they had run home. Stopping just outside of Shannon's room to regain their breath, they paused when they heard voices from inside Shannon's room. One they recognized; Legolas. The other- the other was shrill, annoying, and sounded like nails screeching on a blackboard.  
  
"Like, OMG, these arrows have SO gotta go! Here, take this backpack instead..."  
  
"Not a chance! This backpack is PINK! And PLASTIC! At least the arrows look good with my tunic..."  
  
"Speaking of your, like, tunic, that color of green is SO last week! Here, take Ken's purple muscle shirt, he, like, won't mind!"  
  
"PURPLE?"  
  
Having heard enough of poor Legolas' torture, the three girls hesitantly opened the door to Shannon's room.  
  
Legolas was perched on Shannon's bedframe, bow pointed threateningly at a plastic doll who was surrounded by accessories. Shannon, puzzled, went over to pick up the Barbie. Glancing at the lifeless piece of plastic, her gaze turned to Legolas.  
  
"Uh, Legolas? Were you talking to yourself? You're really good at doing a female voice..." Shannon's voice trailed off. Both Elise and Tiffany were staring at Legolas like he was a foreign species.  
  
Legolas was flustered. "No, of course not! I was talking to the Barbie! She-" his voice cut off as he looked more closely at the Barbie in Shannon's hand- she was no longer alive, just a doll again. Legolas flushed with embarrassment.  
  
Meanwhile, Elise was bustling over to see the doll, then rushing back to the alchemy lab she had set up. Flipping hurriedly through the book, she sighed. "Jeez, I suck! This was supposed to be a temporary spell, and I couldn't even cast that. It should have been wearing off right away here." She glanced up at Legolas. "Leggy, did you notice anything odd about the Barbie?"  
  
Legolas sighed. They would never believe it...  
  
The End!  
  
A/N: That's the end of Bonus Chapter II! Hope you all enjoyed it, I had fun writing it, I haven't written anything in so long! It would help me write more if you would REVIEW though... PS: Can anyone guess WHY the Barbie came alive? ********If you have any suggestions/ideas, I would LOVE to hear them! Review them to me, or email me at legolass118@hotmail.com*******  
  
Responses to Reviews: Here's responses to all the reviews I've received since Ch. 10 came out!  
  
TokyoGal90: YOU ARE THE BEST REVIEWER ON EARTH!!! ^__^  
  
Noshaan Raven'tress: hehe, well, sorry about that. Hope you can hide it from Erica.  
  
Kim: I only have one thing to say to you: C'MON, KIMMEH!!!  
  
Diana: Why thankyou!  
  
Gabriella: Tell Frodo and Haldir hi for me! And YOUR Legolas? Since when is he YOUR Legolas???? MINE!!!!!! -__- ^_~  
  
Rieos: Gee, wonder who they could be?? *looks innocent*  
  
Army_Brat: I FEEL SO SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lily Among the Thorns-89: Gee, you look a lot like her. *points above* but never mind, anyway, thanks, you were the one that caused this chapter to be written!  
  
Kat-Child17: Wow, thankyou! Here's the new chapter- don't explode, I need you to review this chapter!!!  
  
Car bear the cheerleader: Wow, short and sweet! Thanks! ^_^  
  
Dreamy-eyes: Yes, he certainly did! I was fond of the ending too... thankyou!  
  
Midnight: wow, thanks!! 


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